Why me? I don’t even know if I had a panic attack. What if I didn’t? But I broke down. I couldn’t stop crying. So then what happened? I couldn’t stop feeling like shit. I couldn’t stop feeling like I couldn’t handle anything anymore. Am I in depression? Why do I get mad over stupid things? She didn’t text me. She doesn’t stop and say hi or hug me. She doesn’t show confrontation. She doesn’t even care. She doesn’t give a fuck. She doesn’t this she doesn’t that. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?! Why do I do this to myself? I don’t believe religion can help me. I want to help myself because it seems that is what I have been trying to do, but I have become my own worst nightmare. I am my own enemy. I fucking hate myself for hating myself. I fucking hate myself because I am bipolar, because I can’t seem to be like everyone else. I never wanted to feel like this but yet I do. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Today in school I couldn’t help think about “what ifs”. What if I died? What if we broke up? What if I just gave up? I sometimes honestly wish I can punch a wall or bash my head with a fucking brick.
Just breathe and realize you are just stuck in a moment. Things will only get better trust me #life #chinup
Everyone at my school's idea of a relationship: Someone asks someone "Will you go out with me?" and the other person says yes. They hug in the hallways, hold hands in the morning before the bell rings, and they kiss at lunch. They say "I love you" after two days. The whole school agrees that they are the cutest couple ever and hopes that they will last.
My idea of a relationship: You start talking to each other and is in the "talking stage". One person asks you to go a date with them. You guys go a few more dates. You guys are dating. You guys act like a couple. You hug, you hold hands, you kiss. One person asks you to be their boyfriend/girlfriend. You guys are now officially a couple. You're in one of those relationships where you don't announce it to the whole world but you won't deny it if someone asked. You guys are comfortable around each other, you hang out outside of school. You say "I love you" when the time is right and when you actually mean it.
