Why me? I don’t even know if I had a panic attack. What if I didn’t? But I broke down. I couldn’t stop crying. So then what happened? I couldn’t stop feeling like shit. I couldn’t stop feeling like I couldn’t handle anything anymore. Am I in depression? Why do I get mad over stupid things? She didn’t text me. She doesn’t stop and say hi or hug me. She doesn’t show confrontation. She doesn’t even care. She doesn’t give a fuck. She doesn’t this she doesn’t that. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?! Why do I do this to myself? I don’t believe religion can help me. I want to help myself because it seems that is what I have been trying to do, but I have become my own worst nightmare. I am my own enemy. I fucking hate myself for hating myself. I fucking hate myself because I am bipolar, because I can’t seem to be like everyone else. I never wanted to feel like this but yet I do. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Today in school I couldn’t help think about “what ifs”. What if I died? What if we broke up? What if I just gave up? I sometimes honestly wish I can punch a wall or bash my head with a fucking brick.
Just breathe and realize you are just stuck in a moment. Things will only get better trust me #life #chinup
Swimming behind someone doing breaststroke
I really don’t know what to do. I need help. I am scared I am going to do something I am going to regret. I can’t stop crying. I want this to be over.